It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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