I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
