Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Someone came in the potted fern
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
