where does the pee come out of this thing
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
