So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
