he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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