can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Someone shattered a urinal.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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