I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
