he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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