Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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