I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
