By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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