dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
