i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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