Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
