Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
