We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
