I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
