So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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