He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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