Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
