I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
