I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
