He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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