he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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