He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
