He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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