tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
