PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
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