I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
