I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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