Duck Duck Cougar?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize