The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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