It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She even gives head with a lisp.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
