Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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