Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you traded sex for a burrito?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
