How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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