i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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