Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
