wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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