I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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