He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
