You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
