No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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