Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
