What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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