New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
