The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
