he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
