he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
