if you like me you must not know who I am
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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